Einstein's Theory of Relativity Doesn't Explain This Quote

My friend's uncle's doctor (once removed) recommends that anyone operating heavy machinery remain conscious at all times. Sounds like a reasonable ask. Unfortunately, my body doesn't always get the memo. It's almost like I'm not really in control. Sometimes, when the moon reaches full maturity, things take a turn. Instead of growing claws or fighting the urge to howl, I start to doze off. This is especially true when I'm watching TV late at night. And honestly, I shouldn't be held liable if my ability to recollect gets a little fuzzy.

If you haven’t put two and two together, I had one of these episodes recently. I can’t for the life of me remember what I was watching. I’m pretty sure it was a movie, but the moment I shut my eyes it all became a blur. The only thing that stuck was one line.

If you're looking for context, you've come to the wrong place. It wouldn't matter anyway because the line is more well-known than whatever movie it crawled out from. I'd bet my bottom dollar that most have heard it a time or two. The delivery wasn't anything special, either. That much I remember clearly.

So, let’s just put it out there. 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

Okay, be honest. Whose brain just splattered out of the back of their head?  Nobody? Perfect. We’re hitting quarterly expectations.

The shock factor just isn’t there. It’s a phrase that lives in the public domain. But here’s the kicker: I looked up the definition of insanity. I pulled out one of those giant leatherbound dictionaries, the kind the kids today probably assume only existed in the mythos of antiquity. 

And what I found is… shocking. 

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is not the definition of insanity. 

Now everyone’s brains are free to burst, rupture, splinter, or whichever verb best describes your personal astonishment.

I’ve gotta say, this was news to me. I needed a few days to recover. Has my whole life been one big lie? I’ve been tossing this thing out there like hot cakes, thinking I was some wise sage. Maybe it's time to start fresh. This time I'll commit to being far less fraudulent. That has to be the move.

Wait a second. Einstein, you say? Apparently some people attribute the line to him. He’s one of the smartest men to ever live. I knew it. I knew it had to come from genius. How else could you explain it? No need for the existential crisis. Everything is right in the world again. The planets are realigned. More importantly, my credibility is restored.

Except…

Einstein didn’t say it. He didn’t even mutter it under his breath. There was no moment where he was calculating E = mc² and then decided to sprinkle in a little bonus insight with his definition of insanity.

Nope.

It has nothing to do with him.  Just somebody decided it sounded like something someone smart would say. Yup, that’s Einstein. 

Well, I’m here to tell you, in full Will Smith fashion, to keep that genius’s name out of your mouth. 

Einstein didn’t have time to ponder something so inconsequential as the definition of insanity. The man was too busy theorizing about spacetime and redefining our reality. Talk about some insanity. Most of us don’t even have the neurons to process the things he was talking about, let alone understand them.

But there was that one morning he woke up all in a real tizzy. He said, “You know, my legacy. It's just not enough.” I have to leave the world with something it can truly remember me by. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this one word.

It was never going to happen, people.

I know – the truth, while difficult to pin down, just isn’t as cool. According to some light research I did online, there are a couple likely sources. One is author Rita Mae Brown, who used similar verbiage in her 1983 novel Sudden Death. The other is from Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically, a 1981 Knoxville, Tennessee newspaper article reporting on an Al-Anon meeting, where one of the attendees said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

Still, that does little to really narrow down an origin. What is definite is that it didn’t come from Albert Einstein. That’s not to say that some folks won’t continue channeling him when they whip out the quote from time to time. Maybe we should let them have it. A little white lie won’t hurt anyone, right? Certainly not as much as a bruised ego.