Goin' Off-Page: Movies That Stray From the Beaten Path
Who doesn’t like a ridiculous movie premise? Okay, maybe I'm in the minority here, but I see value in the absurd. Films that dare to ask the heavy hitting questions like: What if a dog could play basketball? Or what if hordes of zombies crashed the events of Jane Austen’s classic novel Pride and Prejudice? Thanks to the power of cinema, we now have those answers.
But that's only scratching the surface of what's actually out there. Some films aren't afraid to push the bounds of human curiosity, even if the results are totally bizarre. So here are a few of the wackiest feature films that I've ever stumbled across.
I say "stumbled" in the descriptive sense. My feet remained firmly on the ground the whole time. Still, it should be noted that some of these definitely tripped up my noggin.
Rubber (2010)
Robert is his name, and being a tire is his game. Yes, really. This independent horror comedy follows a tire named Robert that, without explanation, comes to life. He's also able to tap into telekinetic powers, which he uses to kill people. Oh, Robert, stop. You're killing us. Literally.
Being John Malkovich (1999)
Don’t let the title fool you. This is not a documentary about the famous thespian. Instead, it’s about a struggling puppeteer, played by John Cusack, who discovers a portal that takes him into the mind of the real John Malkovich. Soon he realizes he can actually inhabit Malkovich’s body. Is it surreal? Yeah. Completely screwy? You bet. But it’s also strangely enough pretty compelling. Just be ready to turn off the part of your brain where the logic monster lives.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Flying is already a pain, so what harm could a few snakes do? Well, a lot, apparently. Especially when a crime lord tries to eliminate a key witness to the murder he committed by unleashing an ungodly amount of slitherers on a passenger airliner. Thankfully, FBI agent and certified snake charmer Neville Flynn, played by the prolific Samuel L. Jackson is on it.
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
It’s a team up nobody saw coming: Elvis Presley and John F. Kennedy. Except, wait, they’re both elderly residents of a nursing home. And just to complicate things a little more, the man claiming to be JFK is Black. A reasonable person might already be shaking their head, but that’s not all. There must be conflict, and our protagonists find it in the form of an ancient Egyptian mummy that's consuming the souls of the residents at the home.
Mannequin (1987)
Some see plastic, others see the love of their life. I'm not here to judge, but I know male fantasy, and this one reeks of it. The plot centers around a struggling artist who falls in love with the mannequin he designed. Only it's not really a mannequin, as it eventually comes to life after becoming inhabited by the spirit of an Egyptian princess. You know the drill.
Sharknado (all of them)
I wish we didn’t have to go here, yet here we are. Look, I get it. Sometimes filmmaking is about upping the ante. Personally, hurricanes were already menacing enough before sharks were added into the mix. That's a statement that, after six entries into this series, I stand by.
I don’t know what these films say about the human race, except maybe that curiosity and creativity can lead us to some truly odd places. And when the real world feels like it's drawn in straight lines, a little detour can be exactly what the doctor ordered.
