KGB Undone by American Sweet Cream Filling
In life, there are certain unwritten rules that should simply be followed. Be polite and respectful of others, chew with your mouth closed, and under no circumstances should you play high-stakes poker with anyone wearing a red tracksuit. That last rule is especially important if the individual in question is Russian and running an illegal underground gambling ring in New York. The only exception, of course, is if their snack of choice happens to be Oreo cookies.
Ooh, man. Because if their snack of choice is Oreos, then they're yours to play with like a fiddle. At least, that’s what the 1998 film Rounders would have you believe. If this is starting to sound a little dumb, well, it kind of is. It also just sort of works with the narrative of the story.
For those unfamiliar, Matt Damon’s character Mike is a young law school student and a pretty talented poker player. His love for the game, along with his dream of winning the World Series of Poker leads him to the underbelly of New York’s illegal gambling scene. There he faces Teddy “KGB” (that Russian mobster I was describing earlier) in a game of Texas Hold ‘em. Teddy cleans out an overly confident Mike, at which point he decides to swear off poker to focus on his studies instead.
Life goes on, and Mike’s doing well in school – that is, until his childhood buddy “Worm,” a hustler and overall shiesty fella, enters the mix. Before you can say blackjack, Mike’s old pal has him back in the action. This ensures that he and Teddy “KGB,” played brilliantly by John Malkovich, will square off one more glorious time.
And it’s during their final showdown that Mike finally spots Teddy’s tell. Yes, it’s the damn Oreos. To the audience, it’s painfully obvious, but Mike isn’t as sharp as the movie wants you to think. The whole time, Teddy has been tipping his hand with his tasty treats. They speak to him, okay? The frosting, the way he twists them open, whether he eats them, it’s all telling. You wanna talk about a real cookie monster? Teddy is your guy.
Mikey boy, on the other hand, our hero, rides off into the sunset after emphatically bustin’ Malkovich up, who delivers some iconic lines in a full Russian accent.
But back to cookies. It really does seem silly that a movie building up to this climactic showdown is decided by one of the most popular and well-known brands. They looked like they were just the standard Oreos, too. Could you imagine if they were Double Stuf? I don’t know, I’d say that’s a possible missed opportunity. Maybe they’re saving it for the sequel.
Alright, in all seriousness, we’re talking about one hell of a plot device here. It may seem small, even inconsequential, yet it’s the moment that flips the plot. I know some people will probably roll their eyes at it, just like the folks who actually know how to play poker probably cringe at how the game is portrayed in the film. And yet, Rounders manages to pull it off. Sure, Teddy could have had some other visual tell, like pinching his cheek or wiping his nose, but it wouldn’t be nearly as memorable as Oreos. That’s why going a little outside the box can really pay off, particularly in storytelling. Not everything has to be logical or make perfect sense to be compelling. Really, it just has to hit the audience in the right way. In this case, a straight flush can look a lot like a half-eaten box of cookies.
